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JADED
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I am damn stubborn.

I will be the first to admit it.

It isn’t something I necessarily choose to be.

It just happens to be a fact.

I do have a hard time admitting other facts about myself.

Like there might be a chance that I truly... might be lonely.

I realize this when I wake up in the morning and I realize I am not waking up next to anyone.

And there is no one waking up next to me.

There is no one who is thinking about me in the afternoon or before they retire for the night in their bed.

Perhaps that is why I wake up with anxiety in the mornings ... because I have finally realized that I do not have anyone to make a connection with.

I am not trying to have a pity party for myself.

I could easily have someone to talk to when I go to bed at night or when I wake up in the morning if I wanted to... but I am not looking for just anyone anymore.

I am looking for someone truly worth while.

I want someone who I can be part of a team with.

Someone that I can support - but will support me in return.

I am not looking for someone to just fill a simple void of loneliness.

I need someone who WANTS to see me every waking moment - but understands that I can’t be around all of the time and still supports my goals.

I am done wanting just a girlfriend.

I want a stronger, deeper, more mature connection.

I want a partner.

Is this making any sense??

I am fine on my own.

I am absolutely fine on my own.

The only thing is - I do not really want to be on my own.

Now I am not saying that I am wanting to get married.

Not tomorrow or any time soon.

But I suppose I do in the next few years, hopefully.

I want to get married and have a married life.

I know what I want for my life.

I know how I want my life to be when I start building a family and I know how I want to do that.

Things may change.

I guess that is the only thing certain in life - that everything changes.

And I am still young - damn it, I know I am.

But I know I am not at the same place in my life that everyone my age is.

And I am certainly not going to just find someone and settle with her because of the right timing.

I want to be completely in love.

I want to be certain.

I just worry that maybe I never will be certain.

I suppose my last relationship proved that you can rely on someone - you can hand them your heart and fully expect them to protect it.

You can think everything is stable... and then it can just crumble without warning.

I thought I was certain then, and she taught me that you never know.

She has taught me to guard myself once again.

The other night - someone said to me that I am jaded.

I am finally starting to understand and realize ... that I think I really am.

 

Date-er You scored 46 despair, 75 relationship potential, 100 feelings, and 25 patience

Addicted to dating, eh?

 

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on despair You scored higher than 99% on potential You scored higher than 99% on feelings You scored higher than 99% on patience

Link: The Why Are You Single Test written by luminiscent on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

 

Cancer Man

Heterosexual Of any man, he is the premier softie, loving to kiss, hug, spoon, and moon.  He needs that showering of cuddly mother love as much as getting his rocks off.  On that score, nothing imparts more of a pure erotic thrill than letting an energetic top woman have her way with him, boobs bouncing, as she barks imperatives and instructions.  In fact, very little in Cancers man's vision of worthwhile sex doesn't include breasts in one way or another.  He is the zodiac's pre-eminent titty fucker, and most of his sexual fantasies involve big bosomed babes in the proverbial pole position.  He is anything but squeamish when faced with a partner's outpourings, a proclivity that may easily extend to the peepee department.  As well, he's way up for anal sex; though if his mate flashes red flag, he is fine with forgoing it.  Of course, he loves being blown- what man doesn't? – bit for him the act imparts a particularly soothing and secure, pacifying sensation.  He can be fairly kinky in is makeup; especially where his love for a dominant women drives him to the extreme.  For the most part, however, the Crab rarely acts on his more intricate fantasies.  He seems designed to propagate, parent, provide and protect.  Cancer will typically immerse himself in that household reality, focusing on his primal needs to be the pristine husband, the unadulterated consort, regularly coddling, cooing, and conceiving with his woman.  Just as he is almost pathologically intrigued by those de rigueur female bodily functions-  if any man would think nothing of having sex with his woman when, for instance, she's not quite finished with her period, it's the Cancer man.  Likewise, he is all over his mate when she's pregnant.  The Crab has a the distinct sexual habit of sneaking in when his woman least expects it.  One would be hard pressed to find a long-time partner of the Cancer man who hasn't actually awoken to his slowly shagging her, the actual experience being subtly woven into her dreamscape. Straight turn-ons:  Aggressive women, Nordic, Germanic types, tall women, big breasts, implants, kissing, licking, sucking, (active) oral, (passive/active) discipline, titty-fucking, waitresses/flight attendants, (active) anal sex, submission fantasies, strippers, porn stars, pregnancy, lactation, school girls, shaved, waxed genitals, (passive) bondage, leather, biker chicks, (passive) golden showers, cuddling, spooning, home porn, hotel rooms, crops, whips, nymphomaniacs, dominatrixes

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Sex You scored higher than 99% on Starsign

Link: The Sextrology Test written by KamikazeParrot on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test