“How blessed are some people, whose lives have no fears, no dreads; to whom sleep is a blessing that comes nightly, and brings nothing but sweet dreams.”

-- Bram Stoker

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NIGHT TIME ANGST
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I despise trying to go to sleep at night.

Every time I go to shut my eyes and doze into the world of dreams my mind is flooded with millions of questions.

Questions of love and hate, God and Hell, time and the Universe and even life itself.

It is difficult to sleep when the questions that define life so quickly consume it.

How can one rest when their mind is turned into a war zone with a million views and a million and one lies are trying to fight for dominance of my conscious state?

How can one rest when one's mind is thrown into turmoil?

Instead of resting I toss and turn agonized by every view that crosses my mind.

The deepest questions too deeply explored too late at night.

If I could give a day to this I would.

But the armies in my mind always decide to launch their offences late at night causing war when there should only be joy.

As I battle deciding my fate and piece by piece finding my true self, the hours tick away and soon enough, it is time to face a new day.

So I walk about the Earth with an empty mind void of these thoughts, going about my existence.

However, when night falls again I know that the fight will start anew.

As good and evil, right and wrong, hypocrisy and truth must battle it out for another night.

I fear I shall never sleep again because of this painful time.

I have given so much of my body in this quest for myself.

I now fear that I will give too much of my mind.

And that I will end up an empty shell.

 

Slowly Going Crazy You scored 93 monkeys on your back!

Ah, the gnawing! The nagging!  You've probably met the Buddha on the road and killed him, even kicked the body around a little, but it just *hasn't* helped.  SOMETHING more must be out there, SOME idea must have been missed, SOME satisfaction must be possible...but nothing you know of, from marine biology to love to dancing with the natives has quite done it for you.  You're ready to chuck it all for a cabin in the woods...which you really don't have much hope for.  Quest, quest, forever you quest! Is this Hell or highest Gnosis?  Arrrrgggh!

 

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Back-Monkey

Link: The Is Something Missing? Test written by arborite on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test