NEWEST
OLDER
CONTACT
DIARYLAND

BACK TO WEBSITE

**************************

Wednesday, Aug. 24, 2005 - 12:29 a.m.

**************************

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

"There are things in this world that make me cry;"

"There are things in my head I dare not touch;"

"There are reasons why I don’t;"

"There are too many questions;"

"There are not enough answers;"

"There are never enough answers;"

"These are just words;"

"They are here for you..."

Newest 5 Entries:

My Suicide... (Updated) - Sunday, Jun. 17, 2007
I'm Sorry... - Sunday, Apr. 22, 2007
I Give Up... - Monday, Nov. 27, 2006
Questioning My Existence... - Monday, Nov. 20, 2006
Sometimes... - Monday, Nov. 13, 2006

"Another one from my archive."

***************************************************************
QUOTE FOR THE DAY:

 "No one can ever promise you they will never hurt you, because at one time or another it will happen. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end."
a young caucasian man hugs his girlfriend after giving her an engagement ring photo

***************************************************************
INTUITION
***************************************************************

Sensual Twentysomething Couple Lying on a Bed Holding Hands photo

We all have these pangs of thoughts that we feel strongly about.

We all have a second sense for something that just doesn’t seem right.

It’s a gut feeling that something just isn’t right.

There may not be obvious signs or signals that make you come to that conclusion.

You can’t explain why the feeling strikes you.

It just does.

When it does strike you, you are filled with apprehension and feel as tho something may go wrong.

I don’t know about you, but I am usually right when I feel something.

I usually don’t second guess my intuition, because I am having those feelings for a reason.

More times than not, the answers do not come until later on.

I get them quite a bit when in a relationship.

I can usually foretell the end of a relationship.

It’s rather odd to be able to do that.

With most of my relationships, I prepare myself before the end actually comes close.

I build up this wall around my heart to protect it the best way that I can.

No, it doesn’t prevent all hurt from reaching me, but it does deflect some of it.

When I think back, I can see that if I hadn’t done that in the past, I could have easily been destroyed.

I get the feeling that something isn’t right with something that is going on in my life right now.

I don’t have the answers as to why I feel that way.

I just do.

It’s sitting in my stomach like curdled milk and it doesn’t feel so well.

Whether I am right or wrong, only time will tell.

I am bracing myself for it, though.

I have to.

A wall is slowly being built to protect my inner self in preparation for the possible upcoming happening.

It’s my defence mechanism kicking into gear.

It won’t fully protect me from hurt and pain, because this person is very important to me.

The person was a change in my life.

A welcomed change, a much needed change.

I don’t feel like going through another change, not this soon.

I can feel that it has started to slip away from me.

There is no reason or incident that tells me this.

It’s my intuition kicking in.

It’s telling me to take cover and brace myself.

I can’t grasp it and hold onto it, so it doesn’t go away.

I am not that type of person.

I will fight like a hellcat for something I want, but admit defeat when the something doesn’t want me anymore.

The only problem with that is that I know that bracing myself, building up my wall and letting my defence mechanism kick in isn’t going to work this time.

I am not so confident that I will be able to weather the storm.

I hope that I am wrong.

I’ve been wrong before, not very many times, but wrong nonetheless.

We shall see what happens.

Only time can tell me if I am right or not.

I suppose my not wanting this to be true shows that I do have a selfish side to me.

I always deny that I am a selfish type of person, and I guess this proves otherwise.

I suppose no matter how giving a person we are, deep down we are all a bit selfish.

I hate admitting that.

I have always considered myself to be a very giving person, in terms of care, love and friendship.

Is it wrong to be a bit selfish?

I suppose not.

Although… I am not saying that with much confidence.

I have never asked for anything from anyone, except for friendship or understanding.

I don’t ask people to change for me.

I don’t ask that they re-arrange their lives for me.

But this one time... I want something.

I want my intuition to fail me this one time.

For the first time in my life, I am willing to accept and even ask for failure.

I will welcome it with open arms.

Intuition is something to pay attention to.

My intuition is something to pay attention to.

I usually am in tune with it.

(What follows below was added a few days later)

I found out something that confirmed my feelings.

It’s not hard to find something out when you really want to know.

I am a no-nonsense type of person.

I have strong beliefs concerning the way I feel I should be treated.

No, I am not saying I deserve things to be handed to me on a silver platter.

But I think I earned the respectful treatment that I apparently wasn’t getting.

I didn’t realize I was being disrespected until last night, but did have that intuition kick in.

I’m not as dumb as some people might think.

I do act goofy and odd sometimes, but that is just my knowledge that it’s better to enjoy life then to brood about it.

I don’t take shit when I am in a relationship.

I’ve been fucked over too many times to put up with anything.

It’s funny because people that claim to know me best feel they can pull the wool over my eyes.

They can’t.

I have been accused of being a submissive type when it comes to relationships, but when hurt, I will walk away.

I will choose to walk away this time, too.

I am thankful for my defence mechanism protecting me early on.

I am thankful that I am intelligent enough to see what was happening before me.

I am glad that I am stubborn, opinionated and strong.

I thought that I would be devastated if I found out that my intuition was wrong.

I’m not.

Why do you ask?

Because my defences kicked in early.

The wall began to build.

My heart started to turn cold.

No, it’s not completely cold.

My heart is too giving and tender to turn completely to ice regardless of what I say sometimes.

I thought I was doing all the right things.

I thought I was doing it right.

Apparently, I wasn’t, but if anything, it will help me the next time I open myself up.

It will help me be wary and will cause me to shelter myself more next time.

It sucks, though, because for the first time in a long time, I let someone see every aspect of my personality.

I shared with them my soul.

I’ll be all right, I think.

Someone told me last night that I lost myself during these events.

Maybe I had.

I did see some changes in me that I did welcome.

Within this event, I became a softer person inside.

I had peace inside of myself.

I felt happier than I had in a long time.

I thought this person appreciated that, even loved that. 

I was wrong.


JUNE 

Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by
kindness. Polite and softly-spoken. Having lots of
ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating,
tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the
best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves
to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative.
Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make
friends. Abiding. Able to show character.
Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to
dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows
emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt.
Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

10550 other people got this result!
This quiz has been taken 131088 times.
8% of people had this result.


What Does Your Birth Month Reveal About You? (read memo)
brought to you by Quizilla


The Notebook. 

You are a hopeless romantic and love
movies that make you cry!! You love to have fun
and are very emotional!!

1361 other people got this result!
This quiz has been taken 5100 times.
27% of people had this result.


What Movie Is Perfect For You?
brought to you by Quizilla

 

previous - next