"When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. 

When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. 

This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfilment. 

Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter."

-- Tom Robbins

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OK CHILDREN....CAN WE SAY ‘SABOTAGE’?
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How is it possible to so adamantly NOT care about someone and then so adamantly CARE about their welfare?

And why is it that the point that I am fully capable of taking care of myself so hard for so many people to grasp?

If a woman wants to think that I am so hard pressed over her that our certain demise will cause me immeasurable pain, the likes of which I've never experienced, she has another thing coming.

Digging myself another hole?

Why would I want to do this to myself?

Because I don't have anywhere near the emotional attachment she thinks I do and I'm not going to be hurt by this in any way she thinks I might.

I don't see myself being hurt any more than disappointment that another change has taken place in my life.

After everything that has happened in the last few months I think I would compare it to nothing more than if I had to go to a different supermarket.

Granted, there were times in the beginning that I felt more strongly for her, but I knew those feelings weren't real and that they would fade, as they most definitely have.

I don't understand her obsession with the end of our relationship.

I don't understand her obsession with my “feelings”.

Why can she not take what I say, understand it, and honour it?

Am I that untrustworthy?

Do I present myself as that calibre of a liar?

Sure, things will end, as all things will.

And as far as I'm concerned we will continue to be friends and I don't see much changing other than us no longer being physical.

That's how things have always run their course with me.

Unless her idea is that now that we've made this change we can never go back to being just friends.

In which case I was much deceived.

I'll take this time to state that this change of relationship was in fact her idea.

Yes, I fully consented and so forth.

But it was her idea to begin with.

I would hate to think she'd come up with that idea with the intention of our friendship ending when the relationship ends.

But if that's how it's going to be, then I want out now, because that's pretty damn deceitful and I put that so far past her that were it to be true, then I don't know her at all.

Nor do I want to.

There's definitely a change come over her the last time I saw her.

She just wasn't happy like she was before.

My guess is that she's not as good at getting rid of the guilt factor (because her over-concern for my emotional welfare sounds suspiciously like guilt-which there is nothing to feel guilty for) and where she should be enjoying what we have right now, she's sabotaging it so that the end comes sooner than later so she can go through it, ruin it, and say "I knew that would happen".

That's a classic psychological battle.

But I'm not playing that game.

If she wants to be my friend, she will be my friend regardless and I will remain friends with her when our physical relationship has to end.

And with that in place she can get her head out of my business and trust me to take care of myself, and give me some credit.

I've gotten through MUCH worse in my life, and she's much mistaken if this even ranks a credit on my scale of "shitty things that have happened to me".

And then, and only then, can we continue the fuck buddy business happily.

It's a shame that things are getting ruined before their due.

I was set to really have fun with this.

It allows me to be playful and quite honestly, it doesn't hurt to get some and get a nice hug at the end.

What's wrong with that?

Our experiences have been so similar in places yet so very different in others.

But above all, I wish she would just trust me and stop sabotaging the little bit we have.

I would hate to see this come to a premature end.

But even if it did, I think I could get over it.

I don't think I would be crushed with grief.

I'm a little above that and quite frankly I’m sick of the games that women play.