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Wednesday, Dec. 15, 2004 - 1:06 a.m.

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"There are things in this world that make me cry;"

"There are things in my head I dare not touch;"

"There are reasons why I don’t;"

"There are too many questions;"

"There are not enough answers;"

"There are never enough answers;"

"These are just words;"

"They are here for you..."

Newest 5 Entries:

My Suicide... (Updated) - Sunday, Jun. 17, 2007
I'm Sorry... - Sunday, Apr. 22, 2007
I Give Up... - Monday, Nov. 27, 2006
Questioning My Existence... - Monday, Nov. 20, 2006
Sometimes... - Monday, Nov. 13, 2006

QUOTE FOR THE DAY:

 "Contentment is not the fulfilment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have."

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CONTENTMENT
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As I sit here reflecting on my life and what it has been so far, I have to say that it has been relatively good to me.

It feels rather odd admitting that with all the events that have transpired over the past years.

But I have reached a point in my life where I am happy with the way that I have evolved and happy with the family, friends and lovers that I have been blessed with.

During my darkest days, it was hard to fathom how the particular events which darkened my spirit would help me and to mould me.

They did, however.

It amazes me just how much they became a part of who I am today.

The odd thing about it is that the choices I made in my past and the things I’ve experienced I probably wouldn’t change, if I had the chance to.

There are people that I have had in my life that I wish would have stayed with me longer and that I still miss, but other than that, I wouldn’t change anything.

I am comfortable where I am at this point of my life, yet, I am not comfortable enough to never wish to change.

I do wish to move beyond this point of my life, but for now, I am enjoying the scenery.

I am enjoying the moments that I witness every day.

They glide by me as if in slow motion, so that my mind will always remember them.

There will come a time that I will not be content moving through life slowly.

There will come a time that I will want life to move along quicker for me.

But for now... this is nice.

There are things that I wish to do in my lifetime that would or could never be accomplished without reaching this level in my life.

All of those things require strength and perseverance.

I do believe that the events of my life have helped prepare me for those future moments.

I still feel like there are things to learn and to discover before I move on with my life.

This slow moving pace is helping my mind more clearly form what I wish to do.

The photographs in my mind of those particular things grow clearer and more defined with each passing day.

The day that they are crystal clear will be the day that I must reach out to try to grab a hold.

They are nearing that point.

These things are becoming clearer with every breath that I take.

Until they do become clear, I am content for now...

 black star
You demand a calm environment, free of conflict and
disagreement. You prefer natural to artificial. You are capable of being comfortable in conditions
that would bother others. You are not easily disconcerted. You enjoy a peaceful environment in which to relax and appreciate life. You have a refined sense of beauty. You are capable of persisting against all odds when determined to reach a goal. You are intent on establishing a personal attitudinal framework within which to accomplish your goals. You enjoy attention, but are unsure of how to
handle it. Just treat others as you'd like to be treated. It works!

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